Women in History and Your Squad Goals Today

Originally published with wildfaithco.com.

During Women’s History Month we honor an incredible legacy of females that come before us. I love hearing lesser known quotes and stories about some of history’s great heroines—Harriet Tubman, Amelia Earhart, Amy Carmichael. But they always make me wonder, what would it have been like to call them “friend”? What motivation, what courage, what strength must have surrounded women of their caliber! Today, we have a name for that:  #squadgoals.

Usually when we think about ideal friendships, our thoughts focus on the kinds of women that we want as friends and what we imagine doing together. There’s a spark of real goodness here. I love watching the women around me enjoy the abundance and richness of a life devoted to God. They spur me on and pick me up when I’m down. It’s good to choose friends like that, friends that make you want to love God and neighbor. But how we think about those friends—and how we view ourselves as a friend—goes much deeper.

Throughout the New Testament, we read lists of "one anothers”—Bible verses that remind us to love one another (John 13:34), bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), encourage one another (Hebrews 10:24-25 / 1 Thessalonians 5:11), and even teach and correct one another (Colossians 3:16). These commands require that we, as Christians, live in community. After all, you can’t one another alone.

So who is that crew for you? The company you keep, your besties, your squad? Picture these ladies in your mind.

Can I encourage you with a challenge I am giving myself? When I think about my #squadgoals, I want to consider the ways in which I can feed and nourish the women in my life. Not my goals for collecting the best community of friends like prizes on my Instagram feed—but instead, my goals for loving the community where God has placed me. What if, instead of considering the kinds of friends we want around us, we began by creating a culture of friendship, led by example? Here are three goals to get us started:

1. Get personal. Life is short, why wait? I married an MK (that is, missionary kid), which among other important lessons, has taught me the value of taking risks and going deep fast. When your family might be kicked out of the country any day now, you generally lose interest in small talk. I also live in a very transient city, so people come into my life for a few years at a time and often leave. While this can be hard, I am inspired by the attitude I see in the missionary community. Giving appropriate respect to personal boundaries, they don’t waste time on surface conversation. Like them, I want to share openly and honestly with my friends. I want to be vulnerable and receive vulnerability in return. We cannot help and support one another if we are too busy preserving a facade.

2. Prioritize your time. If you have a standing hang-out time, like a Bible study or community group, do whatever you can to schedule other things around it. Sure, a text chain keeps you connected to your women throughout the week, but face time is so crucial. Not the app, your actual faces. Deeper relationships happen when you drop the screen and get real. My work project can wait. I can catch up on sleep another time. Girls night is only canceled for true emergencies.

3. Ask about the Bible. This one takes some practice, but once you establish the normalcy of discussing what you are learning and reading in the Bible, accountability begins to grow. If I am expecting the women in my life to ask me what I am reading, then you better believe that I am going to show up in the morning, glasses askew, coffee or no coffee, and jump into my Bible. Because my girlfriends care about what God is teaching me, I am spurred on to deepen my own learning.

The iconic women in history are truly an inspiration. As we reflect on them this month, don’t forget to look around you. The women in your midst are tomorrow’s history makers—whether or not books record their impact. Great culture shifts are delightful to behold, but the reality for most of us is that the most impactful women in our lives will be the unsung heroes that live life alongside us. What could your social circle look like if each of us committed to the well-being of one another? 

Share with us! What are other ways that you invest in the women around you? How do you make space to go deep and talk about the important things in life?