Mommy is bleeding but she is not hurt.
Over the years, I’ve struggled to come up with the most appropriate words to explain complex ideas to my growing children. At the school where I work, we advise parents to start with a simple, clear answer to the question being asked. For instance, a child who wants to know where babies come from may be perfectly satisfied by “the baby grows in Mommy’s tummy.” If he asks follow-up questions, you might get into the science, but it is best to let the child’s curiosity lead before you overshare and overwhelm.
Some conversations as a parent will follow a different timeline. Sometimes we need to lay the groundwork now for important truths that we hope our children will internalize as adults. Conversations about the gospel fall into this category as do intentional lessons about consent (When brother says no, we stop doing whatever is bothering him.), race and identity (God made all kinds of skin and thinks they are beautiful.), money and possessions (God gives us things to enjoy and to share.), and more. As our culture continues to evolve its perspective of gender, talking to our children about the goodness of their sexed bodies has become an increasingly important topic in this category.
As a parent, and specifically as a woman, I think a lot about what I want my daughter to know and love about being female. I continue to revise and refine the exact words that would make most sense at each developmental stage. I want to help all our young girls feel confident and safe. I also want them to stand in awe of God’s brilliant design and celebrate with the psalmist:
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous — how well I know it. (139:13-14)
For all my fellow mamas, aunties, and big sisters, I can’t promise the perfect turn of phrase or aha moment. But I do believe we can get the conversation started about body changes and the path to womanhood with at least three big ideas…
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