Housing Life: Mothering as Making Space

Housing another human is actually my least favorite part of mothering. 

It’s true, some women describe pregnancy as the time in life when they felt most beautiful. The symptoms of carrying a child can vary so widely from woman to woman that some will find they pale in comparison with the mysterious wonder of the life blooming inside. I delight in hearing these experiences. I rejoice for these women. But I am not one of them.

For me, the first third of pregnancy is dedicated to keeping at least a little food in, and the last third is focused on packing calories, even though it feels like nothing else will fit. My typical driven and ambitious self is tired and rarely feels capable of any task at hand. And during this pandemic pregnancy? I somehow blew through the usual second trimester respite without catching a wave of relief. Unsure of whether to blame hormones or COVID, my emotions have raged and tears flowed freely.

And still, the miracle of what I am doing is not lost on me. In fact, it is in the quiet moments of meditation for this blog series that I am finding the most hope in my work at hand. Today, my body is a house. It is a home that I have made to keep this tiny one safe, the first home for two others who run wildly in circles around me now. It is broken and never feels sufficient, but somehow still does the job.

In the beginning, when God created our first home, he formed it with his very breath and filled it with all number of beautiful things. In a garden called Delight, He placed two people who were same of the same and yet distinct. He gave them a bifold job—to have dominion and fill the place with new life. For the first task, each was equipped in their own ways, but for the second, they relied on one another. The man could give the seed, but only the woman held space for it to grow.

Last week, we looked at the unique nourishing capacity of women. This distinctive feature of the female form is coupled with a specialization in housing life. In this series on growing life, we are considering how the physical form of a woman extrapolates into metaphorical function. And just like our capacity to sustain life, the womanly art of making space is designed to reflect the nature of God.

Each human alive today experienced their first home inside a woman’s body. And while the Christian call to hospitality is not gender specific, the home-centric nature of women has been an incredible asset in thriving cultures throughout antiquity. Sometimes, we refer to this as homemaking, but I almost hate to use that term because of how fraught it can be in modern conversation. Some will curl up their nose at the suggestion that every woman is a homemaker, but I think this is shortsighted. Homemaking gets a bad rap, especially if we see it somehow as the opposite of work or the epoch of 1950s domesticity. 

Instead, I want to consider the broader construct of housing life in light of how we see God creating a space for us and coming to dwell within it. 

Touring through the Biblical narrative brings us to several highly significant spaces—from a Garden, to a promised land, to the Holy of Holies in a temple—and yet most of the times when God interacts with His people, He meets them where they are at. He often arrives in their home.

The ancient Israelite home was much different than a 3 bed, 2 bath on the West side. More like a small villa with patio space and just a couple of rooms, a home in these agricultural villages was an indoor-outdoor productive place of labor for several members of an extended family. The women worked closer to the house, where it would be easier to manage small children, and tasks of the family business were divvied up based on skill and childcare needs. The home was office, school, birthplace, and house of worship all in one. So maybe it was just a little like some of our homes during COVID-life, if your learning pod all lives under the same roof.

This definition of home should broaden our idea of what it means to house life. Home is a place where good work happens, where people are fed and clothed and find rest. Home is also communal, welcoming family and travelers alike. It is within the home that daily religious life is practiced and where the early church first gathered for worship.

Establishing the what of a home guides us to the how. As Christians, we long to reflect God’s image as we pursue flourishing in the world around us, so it only makes sense that we carefully observe His way of homemaking in order to inspire our own.

There are so many directions to expand the metaphor of housing life. We can look at God as our protective fortress in Noah’s ark, God flowing with milk and honey in the promised land, God’s orderliness in creation and the new earth described in Revelation, and more. I encourage you to spend some time dwelling on a story that speaks to you—dig into the traits we learn about God as He is designing that space. Here is one that particularly resonates with me:

God dedicates a significant portion of scripture to instruction for building first the Tabernacle, then the Temple, where He would dwell. He constantly refers to the purpose of this design: for glory and for beauty. But beauty in the temple was never about creating a mausoleum of God’s favorite things. Fruit motifs and cherubim and tree-of-life inspired lamp stands were designed to remind worshipers of Eden, God’s original, perfect place. Aromas of incense and oils harkened back to the land called Delight, where He will one day restore us all. So too, the spaces we beautify should serve a similar function. This means that whether you are making space within a location you’ve bought, rented, or just frequent often, the motivation behind beautification is more important than the specific design or decor choices. Where does this draw the eye? Where does it draw the heart?

Would you let the idea of homemaking explode into the metaphorical realm? Given your circumstances and personality, what does reflecting God’s space-making look like? Are you drawn to establishing protective spaces, to provide retreat and respite? Are you gifted in nourishing bodies or souls? Or maybe you are one of those women who know how to make room at the table for the marginalized, weak, or otherwise forgotten. When you make a space, when you house life, you are showcasing a sliver of God’s likeness to a watching world.

On the night he was betrayed, Jesus told his disciples that he would go to prepare a place for them. You see, the God of the Bible never remains in lofty spaces. He directly engages with humanity on the ground He gave us. After the loss of Eden, God promised a new land, came to dwell among His people, and has since invited us into the most intimate, Holy of Holy space. He is Immanuel, God with us. And our place is ultimately with Him.

Jesus invites you to join the family: “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him” (John 14:23).

Continue the Growing Life Series

Part 1: All of Us | Part 2: Nourishing | Part 4: Nurturing | Part 5: Delivering